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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Apr 30 2008, 9:54 PM EDT (current) | ozgeek | 20 words added, 22 words deleted |
| Apr 30 2008, 8:52 AM EDT | ozgeek | 27 words added, 31 words deleted |
Changes
Key: Additions Deletions
Season 3 - 17 Episodes
| 4. Silver War | Ahhh youth: DUCKY: Have you ever spent an evening with a young lady and failed to remember it, Mister Palmer? Oh, what was I thinking? Of course not. JIMMY: But I wouldn’t mind. DUCKY: Well, it’s not something to be admired, Mister Palmer. That doctor today at the Smithsonian intimated that we shared a special something in Hawaii during a conference once. JIMMY: Yeah, what doctor was that, Doctor? DUCKY: The young and attractive one. JIMMY: Um…. still not following you. DUCKY: She was the only doctor there besides myself. JIMMY: Oh! You mean Doctor Burns? DUCKY: Yeah. JIMMY: Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that you said she was young. DUCKY: Young to me, Mister Palmer. Young to me. Ah, will you rotate the head twenty degrees to the left? She invited me out for cocktails tomorrow evening. I was forced to decline. JIMMY: Why? She seemed nice. DUCKY: Oh she’s more than nice. But how do you tell a woman that you have absolutely no mental recollection of her whatsoever? JIMMY: I suppose one could always lie. DUCKY: Have you been spending time with Agent DiNozzo again? (BEAT) Hmm… to Abby, please. JIMMY: Right away, Doctor. Later on there is something about "a little too much English". Despite what Ducky says, you can have too much English on the ball. |
| 5. Switch | Ackward word choices, Jimmy has a merit badge in hiking (scouts?) and the introduction of stunt Jimmy. JIMMY: Traffic was murder. Sorry, poor choice of words there. GIBBS: See what you can get, Duck. He’s trapped in there pretty good. DUCKY: Oh, we’ll do our best. But I hope you brought more appropriate footwear, Mister Palmer. Our journey to our Petty Officer looks rather challenging. JIMMY: Don’t worry, Doctor. I have a merit badge in hiking. DUCKY: I have a driver’s license, Mister Palmer. It doesn’t mean I turn up at Indianapolis in my Morgan. Then Jimmy sprains his ankle. Ducky doesn't have much sympathy in Austopsy. |
| 6. The Voyeurs Club | Palmer knows his NBA. Unfortunately I don't. Basketball? JIMMY: Ninety seven NBA Finals. Jordan has food poisoning. Still hits the Jazz up for forty. |
| 8. Under Covers | Jimmy out of contact - Ducky Punishment: DUCKY: No sign of Mister Palmer I suppose. ABBY: Not since this afternoon, Ducky. . . DUCKY: Make the stitches precise, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: Uh, yes, Doctor. DUCKY: And when you’re done, I want the supply locker inventoried and cleaned. JIMMY: I uh…actually already did that, Doctor. DUCKY: Then do it again. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) GIBBS: What have we found out, Duck? DUCKY: That my assistant, Mister Palmer here, should keep his cell phone with him and turned on at all times. And Jimmy the romantic: JIMMY: You know, I doubt anyone would notice your little gold heart unless they knew it was there. Staring into your eyes, face to face… like a lover. |
| 9. Frame Up | Jimmy bad taste (at first) and little knowlegde of the old terms 'gams', 'Betty Grable' or P-51 JIMMY: I’ll bet Tony made some unseemly comment about these legs, didn’t he? DUCKY: Why would he do that, Mister Palmer? JIMMY: I just mean… knowing Tony… ah… they’re fairly shapely legs, Doctor. DUCKY: Yes, nobody had the bad taste to verbalize such a thought until now. Now that you’ve come to mention it, they do look remarkably similar to Betty Grable’s. JIMMY: Betty? GIBBS: One of the all time pin-up gals in the Forties. DUCKY: Yeah, great gams. JIMMY: Gams? DUCKY: Aren’t you a little young to remember Betty Grable, Jethro? GIBBS: My dad had her painted on the nose of his P-Fifty-One, Duck. JIMMY: A P-Fifty-One? Has a verbal altercation with Chip about who is the most experienced assistant. JIMMY: I have some samples for Abby. CHIP: Well, that’s convenient because I’m Abby’s assistant. JIMMY: I just wanted to say hi. I haven’t seen her in a while. CHIP: She’s really busy right now. JIMMY: It’ll only take a minute. CHIP: You haven’t been an assistant for very long, have you? JIMMY: Longer than you. CHIP: We’ll see about that. JIMMY: That doesn’t make any sense, Chip. CHIP: It’s Charles. Charles. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED) Later Jimmy is away having root Canal |
| 10. Probie | Jimmy cynical that Abby could do an autopsy. Trys Tries to warn the others when McGee turns up to see the body of the guy he killed |
| 11. Model Behaviour | Has a friend who went to NYU. JIMMY: "Laugh now, cry later." PALMER: It's an interesting concept, Mr. Palmer. Unfortunately for our guest here, the laughter has ended. |
| 12. Boxed In (reference only) | Ziva invited Jimmy for dinner with the rest of the gang. TONY: You cook? ZIVA: Jimmy seemed to like it. TONY: Palmer?! I’ve never even been to your place and you’re cooking dinner for McGee and the autopsy gremlin? At what point did the Earth come off its axis? and he tuned her piano and yes, tinnitus can be caused by excessive piano tuning. TONY: Yeah, big surprise there. But Palmer…. I’ve had more stimulating conversations with cats. ZIVA: I like him. And he was very helpful to me. TONY: How? ZIVA: He tuned my piano. |
| 14. Light Sleeper | Jimmy the poet: JIMMY: I always say, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family. DUCKY: There’s a touch of the poet in you, Mister Palmer. TONY: I’d say you’re just more touched. Didn't know the term 'policed his brass' GIBBS: Ah, the shooter policed his brass, Duck. JIMMY: Policed, Sir? DUCKY: Yes, it’s military terminology for cleaning up after one’s self. We may be dealing with a professional. JIMMY: Professional what? DUCKY: Killer, Mister Palmer. These poor women weren’t so much murdered… as executed. A bt of Ducky coaching Jimmy through a slice - check vid |
| 15. Head Case | Jimmy loves wrestling: specifically the WWE. JIMMY: I never cease to be amazed by the depth of your knowledge, Doctor. Yes, it must be the delivery JIMMY: So….white meat or dark? (BEAT) Inappropriate? ABBY: With a big dash of creepy, Jimmy. JIMMY: It’s my delivery. I have to work on that. Jimmy has a college loan and a car ROSS: A human body can be worth as much as two hundred thousand dollars. JIMMY: Well, how much do you suppose just a little arm would be? DUCKY: A lot. It’s not unlike car theft. A vehicle stripped and sold for parts is worth far more than when it’s whole and harder to trace. Table two. JIMMY: Wow. This could pay off my college loans. DUCKY: Don’t give me cause to check your car trunk tonight, Mister Palmer. |
| 16. Family Secret | Knows aan odocoileus virginianus is a white tailed deer. Only time Jimmy has a problem with the smell: JIMMY: Sorry, Doctor. I’m just having a problem with this smell today. DUCKY: Really? I think he smells like my mother’s fried chicken. JIMMY: That would be the problem. DUCKY: Oh, I see. Well, the vegetarian lifestyle has been medically proven to be the healthiest of choices. Perhaps it’s time you made the jump. |
| 17. Ravenous | It's funny if you live in Australia, he can't have learnt much in scouts about hiking JIMMY: Honestly, Doctor, I thought that moss grew on the south side of trees. DUCKY: It does in Australia. |
| 19. Iced | Jimmy knows all JIMMY: Technically, paramedics have a saying concerning cold-water drownings, Agent Gibbs. They say the victim isn’t dead until he’s warm and dead. JIMMY: Four months. Depending on how many times the pond has thawed out this winter. DUCKY: Very good, Mister Palmer. And then learns some more GIBBS: Are these gang tats? DUCKY: That’s not my field of expertise. But I’ve had Mister Palmer document the entire line for further investigation. JIMMY: Some of them were quite um… explicit. |
| 20. Untouchable | Jimmy learns some policy TONY: NCIS investigates all suicides as homicides until proven otherwise, Palmer. JIMMY: Got it. Jimmy humour (we have a guy who uses this saying) and the first time Ducky lets Jimmy do the external all by himself then the cleaning ready for the internal: DUCKY: To assume is to make an enemy of exactitude, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: Because it makes an ass out of you and me? DUCKY: Is this the best time for an attempt at humor? . . JIMMY: We’re not finished with the external exam, are we, Sir? DUCKY: Well, you’re not. You’re so sure that the cause of death was suicide. Why don’t you work out how you would prove it? JIMMY: You want me to… DUCKY: Finish the external exam. Clean, measure – you know, the usual. You think you can do that? JIMMY: Absolutely, Doctor! DUCKY: Then work through the procedure, item by item. Make whatever notes you can. JIMMY: Right. Oh, thank you, Doctor. DUCKY: Have her ready for autopsy two o’clock tomorrow. JIMMY: Yeah. The next morning (Saturday) Abby urges him to do the internal without Ducky - and Ducky isn't mad. His mother is, however, she thinks Jimmy is their servant. Dukcy calls him Jimmy again to his mother. Ducky won't let Jimmy sit in his chair. JIMMY: I don’t know about this, Abby. Doctor Mallard won’t even let me sit in his chair without supervision. ABBY: That’s because you mess with the height adjustments, Jimmy. You… can… do this. JIMMY: This is not a good idea. ABBY: We don’t have time to wait for Ducky on this, okay? What comes first? The saw? JIMMY: Careful, okay? These are all in a very specific order. ABBY: Stop being so Palmer, Jimmy. JIMMY: All right. I will need a scalpel. ABBY: Jimmy, are you really going to do this, or am I? JIMMY: I’ll do it. DUCKY: What exactly are you two doing? JIMMY: Oh, Doctor Mallard! I uh… um… the thing is, I… she made me do it! DUCKY: Well, everything seems to be in order. Why don’t you begin, Mister Palmer, while I get changed? JIMMY: You’re… you’re not mad? DUCKY: Work cannot stop, Mister Palmer, because my mother’s nurse elects to abandon us on a Saturday morning. I applaud your initiative. . .His mother is, however, she thinks Jimmy is their servant. Ducky calls him Jimmy again to his mother. JIMMY: Hello, Mrs. Mallard! VICTORIA: Oh. Ask the boy to pour me a drink. DUCKY: We’re not at home, Mother. And Jimmy is not a servant. |
| 21. Bloodbath | Ducky and Jimmy reconstruct another jigsaw puzzle but this time it's sinue. More Jimmy bad taste: JIMMY: At first we thought there might be a serial killer. Uh… not that that is a good thing. DUCKY: Unfortunately, Mister Palmer’s private hopes were dashed when I noticed in our latest meat puzzle, traces of vascular tissue. Funny misprint on the transcript where it says Jimmy keeps calling Abby on her cell - it was McGee |
| 22. Jeopardy | Death in the NCIS elevator: JIMMY: And one of the first times I didn’t get us lost. Another Jimmy/Gibbs moment JIMMY: Yeah, most people don’t know this, but financial disputes are the second leading cause of divorce. DUCKY: Really? What’s number one? (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) GIBBS: Marriage. JIMMY: Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s infidelity. See, the study I read said that – never mind. |
| 23. Hiatus (1) | JIMMY: Uh… he was standing on the bomb. DUCKY: Better. Why standing? JIMMY: Well, it seems to be the only way to explain his entire lower body being vaporized. DUCKY: Why not sitting? Jimmy naivity JIMMY: Uh… whatever he was sitting on would have shielded his butt. DUCKY: Unless his buttocks was sitting on the bomb. JIMMY: Who would sit on an explosive? DUCKY: Someone who didn’t know they were sitting on the explosive. JIMMY: Of course. DUCKY: I did it myself once. No twice. The first time I was young. The second time, foolish. JIMMY: Why were you sitting on an explosive, Doctor? DUCKY: I just told you I was young and foolish. Haven’t you been listening? JIMMY: I was. I just… |
| 24. Hiatus (2) | Jimmy naivity JIMMY: They don’t use explosives to shoot people out of cannons? DUCKY: A man of your age and education? Really, Mister Palmer. JIMMY: I know that they don’t use high explosives. I thought maybe… black powder. DUCKY: Compressed air or spring-driven catapults shoot our intrepid cannonballer into the air. David…. “Cannonball” Smith set the record. Yes, he even was fired across the Mexican United States border. He carried a passport, although today one wonders why. It’s a sad fact that sixty percent of all human cannonballs are eventually killed. JIMMY: Oh, if they don’t use explosives, then why do so many of them die? DUCKY: They miss the net, Mister Palmer! (LAUGHS) They miss the – oh, my! JIMMY: What is it, Doctor? |
